The secret being that the 5v host voltage is only connected when pin 4 is grounded so it looks like I need 5volts internal somewhere and a PNP transistor with base to pin 4 and emitter to pin 1 (with the odd resistor or two). FET being a better option probably.
I guess, that it should be done by software, but it is not, at least in OZ/Angstrom. My colleague uses a client cable with gender changer to get a "host cable".
SPITZ_GPIO_USB_CONNECT: Detects, whether host cable is inserted.
SPITZ_GPIO_USB_HOST: Controls output power.
SPITZ_GPIO_USB_CONNECT: Does some measurements do detect connected device.