i finally get it worked. but at the price of a reinstall. for people who would follow this way... :
i installed debian on c3100 with the method without network (...), with the rootfs-tarball
http://www.bigbridgezau.sakura.ne.jp/dev/debian/change in /etc/apt/source.list to "sid" then,
login : root
apt-get update && apt-get dist-upgrade
apt-get install xorg # whole xorg... many non needed... but this way, it worked
apt-get install xdm fluxbox
chmod 1777 /tmp
su - user
echo -e "xterm&\n fluxbox\n" > .xsession && chmod 755 .xsession
exit
xdm
then, the calibrate screen appears... and then xdm to log. if you doesn't "chmod 1777 /tmp", you won't be able to log as a user.
QUESTION : why /tmp isn't world-writable ? usually, it is, or am i dreaming ?
if anyone has a/some question(s), please ask !